Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
