Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
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