I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
