Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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