I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize