There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
