have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love