dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%