is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
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Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
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I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment