dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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