totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
