i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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