Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
