hotel room ftw
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
