he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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