Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
