I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
