What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Dignity is for republicans.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Randomize
