all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
