i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Randomize
