I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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