I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize