He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
