god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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