fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
