I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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