If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Shame - the story of my life.
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