You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
