And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize