I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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