I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Randomize
