Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
