some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
