a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
