You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
