didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
My pussy is not your playground.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Randomize
