ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
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