this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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