...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Be still, my beating vagina.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Randomize
