So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
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