Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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