I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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