Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Randomize
