I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
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Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
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It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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