Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Non-Jews are for practice
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
