In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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