I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
