Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
i need some magic done to my vagina
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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