it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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