We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
