Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
