I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
i believe in u and ur pee
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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