i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
