he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
