I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Randomize
