a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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