ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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