I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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