i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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