He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
