Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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