well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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