i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Randomize