I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Boobs are out for the taking
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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