at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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