Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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