If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Randomize
