hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
